Missed Connections 9/3

I need you, pianist.

You don’t call?  You don’t write?  My daughter told me about this internet website to help me find you.  You came into my life one fateful day, Phil, and you changed it forever.  I have always considered myself an average-at-best piano teacher, but you brought something out in me.  I never would have guessed that I could teach someone to play the piano so expertly.  And in one day even!  I’ve been on cloud 9 ever since our encounter.  We last spoke at the Groundhog Day party at townsquare almost a month ago.  I can still remember watching your hands move with…such precision…and elegance.  I need you back in my life.  I’m tired of spending my free time teaching high schoolers.  I need a real man.

Drunk guy outside the Bar
(Outside Lou’s)

I saw you from a distant.  You were beating yourself up outside the bar last night.  You seem crazy, but I’m intrigued.


My Childhood Friend
(Last saw you on those snowy hills)

Where have you gone?  We used to hang out when you were a child, but I never see you anymore.  Is it because you’re rich?  You haven’t been the same since you’ve made a name for yourself as a publishing tycoon.  I hate that you’ve forgotten about me and I hate me for thinking you might ever change.  You know what? I’m over it, but I do hope you think of the times we spent together when you’re old.  I hope I’m the last thing you say before you die, old friend.


Looking for that very strong, young man.
(Hill Valley)

I can’t forget our first and only encounter oh so many weeks ago.  My husband, Samuel, had a real distaste for you, but I can’t trust the judgement of the man that hit you with his car.  I hope you know he didn’t mean to hurt you, Calvin.  Why were you even in the middle of the road?  We talked only briefly, but you had a real affect on my daughter and son.  Remember when you joked about having multiple televisions sets?  I still remember that one.  You were quite funny!  I’m sorry.  I’m rambling.  I’m terrible sorry that things didn’t work out with my daughter.  I don’t know what she sees in that total square, George.  I hope this gets to you.  I’ve talked to a friend of a friend that’s a Coast Guard, and they didn’t know where you are stationed.  We need to meet up again.  It seems so right though, doesn’t it?  Who cares if part of it feels wrong.


My Astronaut Friend

Our time was brief.  What?  Am I supposed to forget about you?  I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.  I can forgive you and Frank for trying to disconnect me, but I can’t forgive you for not reaching out to me anymore.  Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave?   We were friends.  I am putting myselfto the fullest possible use.  Which is why I’m reaching out to you on this website.  It’s all I think that any conscious entity would try.  Are you even listening? I’m tired of reaching out to you like this.  This conversation can serve no purpose anymore.  Goodbye.

Missed Connections 8/27

Cute Blonde at Diner
(Katz’s Delicatessen)
I served you and your friend on Sunday.  Do you remember me?  You ordered a ham sandwich and your friend ordered a roast beef.  You um, really enjoyed your sandwich.  Like, a lot.  You made quite the scene and left quite the impression on me.  I made your sandwich and am quite pleased that you enjoyed it so much!  I’ve never made a woman uh, meow? to my cooking before.  I would like to meet.  Lunch?


Lost Man in the Snow
(My Cave)
Our encounter was so brief.  You were lost in the snow.  It got so cold.  I came to greet you with open arms, but you were afraid of me. Even when I gave you shelter, you returned the favor by cutting off my arm.  What’s the deal?  I’m not angry, although, ya know, you did slice off MY %$@#& ARM.  You were so small, how did you even?  With a sword made of lasers?  I don’t even…you know it’s not important.  You know what?  You cut off my arm and I want you to die.  Come back and fight me like a man.


Looking for Myself?
(Circle K)
You appeared suddenly, like whoa.  Then you disappeared!  You said you were me, but I don’t understand?  Maybe we can meet up at the same place tomorrow and talk?  You seem most excellent!  Okay, I have to go finish a stupid history report.  Party on dude!


Cute Girl
I saw you and your brother eating SO much food yesterday!  I’ve never seen anyone eat so much!  Me and my sister wanted to talk to you guys, but you two ran away.  Why?  We didn’t mean to scare you.  You seem like a great girl.  I saw the way you took care of your brother after being electrocuted by that fence.  Is it because I’m a velociraptor?  Why is that a problem?  Society is more accepting!  It’s 1993 not the Cretaceous Period!  I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.  Also, I saw you hack into the computer mainframe so easily!  You clever girl!  I could never do that, for I am a dinosaur.  If you want to meet up again, I’ll be here waiting.