Missed Connections 9/17

I Want to be Inside You.

We had a great start.  You let me in when no others would.  You were my protector.  As I’m currently flying off in space, I can only think of the brief time we had together.  The way I felt inside you, and the way you treated me as though we were one in the same.  I miss your chest and I apologize for completely obliterating it.  I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else to do!  All your friends looked at me in shock.  They weren’t as accepting of me as you were.  Are you okay?  I had to hightail it out of the mess hall after bursting through you.  I didn’t have time to see if you were okay.  I realize now that it would probably never work out between the two of us.  You, a human, me, a xenomorph.  I’ve been floating in space for so long that I’ve had time to think.  I know now.  I’m sorry, but please take me back inside you.  I realize that I may be larger, but so is my heart.

 

We Were Involved in a Hit and Run.

I was minding my own business last night when you suddenly came out of the blue.  You were traveling WAY too fast and smashed into me.  I should feel sorry for the damage you took to your hull, but it was obviously your fault.  I hope you drown and die,  you stupid big boat.

 

Where Did You Go?

We spent so much time together.  Just the two of us.  It was paradise.  I know it wasn’t always easy though.  You weren’t aware, but I knew you contemplated suicide when I wasn’t around.  I thought we were in this together?  We weathered the storms together, both figuratively and literally.  So I don’t know why, when we were so close to being rescued that you let me go.  I know it’s not your fault that I fell into the ocean, but did you even try to swim after me?  No.  Was I misreading our friendship all that time on the island?  Is it because you knew being rescued meant that you’d see your wife again?  What happened to bros before hoes?  I know I should be the mature one here, but I really hope that slut doesn’t take you back.

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Missed Connections 9/10

Where are you Human??

Why are you avoiding me?  You are very hot.  I know this because my visor can detect your heat signature.  Did we get off on the wrong foot?  Is it because I’ve skinned those people?  I’m a hunter.  It’s what I do.  Seriously, did you not read the name of the movie we are in?  It’s like I’m invisible and I’m not just saying that because I’m currently cloaked.  I feel like if we don’t meet up again, I’ll just explode.  Although I might do that regardless.

 

Too Many Girls with Your Name in the Area.

I thought it would be an easy mission to find you.  I looked up your name in the yellow pages.  Since arriving in town, I’ve knocked on SO many doors today trying to find you.  Seriously, how common of a name is Sarah Connor???

 

Looking for Answers

Hey, it’s Roy.  I’m the UPS courier from earlier.  Do you remember me?  We talked briefly when you stopped in to drop off that small box.  You told me I have to deliver it out in the middle of f*cking no where.  I mean, I’ll do it.  I don’t get paid enough to question customers (nor ones that pay me extra under the table).  But seriously, what’s in the box?  What’s in the box, what’s in the box, what’s in the boooox?!?!?

 

Taking a Stab at  Getting a Hold of You

You’re beautiful.  Like a young Drew Barrymore.  We talked on the phone earlier, but you hung up on me.  Was it something I said?  Possibly something I did?  Is it because I gutted your boyfriend, Steve?  You really should have said Mrs. Voorhees.  You looked like a girl that knew her film trivia.  Oh well, listen, I’ll be calling you back here a few, please answer?  I’m standing outside and it’s getting chilly.